The Real Guri-Guri Experience

Había oído la promesa y la esperé. Llegué a la oficina y ahí estaba, mal escondido como una vergüenza familiar. Quedé paralizado, intentando recordar si en mi infancia este era el momento soñado. Aún conservo el casete de beta en el que él por fin se revela al mundo, sale del baúl y con su voz ronca pero aguda amenaza al niño que lo acaba de encontrar.

Ahora está ante mí, desmembrado, un cuerpo inerte y pequeño, tan pequeño como el enano que decían que se metía ahí dentro. Pero yo, queriendo volver a ser niño, reté los ácaros ya fosilizados y exhumé el cadaver para hacerme uno con él.

*Click en las fotos*

174 Responses to “The Real Guri-Guri Experience”

  1. Arkaham Says:

    Hace mucho que no veia una imagen que me causara tanta impresión. En realidad estoy sin plabras. Esto es… demasiado. Simplemente demasiado.

  2. Patton Says:

    Véndalo en ebay! Fijo le dan buen billete!

  3. Mr Brightside Says:

    Quen va a querer vender esa reliquia?

    (se lo compro, pero no doy buen billete)

    Un saludo

  4. Kunstmacher Says:

    Best Post Ever!!!
    le queda muy bien la cabeza asi… en la proxima fiesta de halloween seras la sensacion!!! sobretodo bailando reggaeton!!!

  5. cualquierchica Says:

    ahh que feliz me haces con ese descubrimiento!!!

  6. NicolasV Says:

    Uy! Que MACHERA!
    El próximo cumpleaños de Javier me disfrazo de GuriGuri!
    Oiga Juglar: Y en serio cabe un enano en el disfráz, o era mocionado de alguna otra forma?

  7. juglar del zipa Says:

    Patton:
    El artículo será subastado por Conexión Colombia en fecha por confirmar. Rivales atenerse porque yo buscaré hacerme a él también.

    Chica:
    Me alegra hacerte feliz accidentalmente.

    Nico:
    De caber, cabe. Tenía que ser alguien con figura humana, en todo caso porque ya el solo muñeco parece muy avanzado para la tecnología animatrónica de las novelas colombianas que, para ser honestos, no ha visto nunca más algo así (a excepción de Amparo Grisales o, más claramente, Teresa Gutiérrez).

  8. TioRojo Says:

    Me gustaría ponerle las manos encima a ese guriguri desechable, de quien es, no lo prestan?

  9. Sentido Común Says:

    Mocionado…vaya término!

  10. pequeña padawan Says:

    ay, carajo, cómo está de ajada nuestra infancia.

  11. el_Dani Says:

    El primo de Alf.

  12. juglar del zipa Says:

    Dani:
    Mmmm… se me parece más a Gonta.

  13. Marcela Says:

    El hallazgo está buenísimo!! Qué son esos como controles que se ven en las últimas fotos? parecen instrumentos de sado o de tortura al primer vistazo… con eso queda uno hablando como el bicho ese?

    Y muy valiente haber sido capaz de ponerse la cabeza.. No hubo comezón / irritación después?

  14. Populina Says:

    Que valga la chiviada/homenaje

    ____

    Yo diría que es más un pariente lejano del perro de “La historia sin fin” y un hermano medio de Chawbacca.

  15. Kunstmacher Says:

    No, pinta de wookie no tiene… muy bajito… depronto un cruce de ewok con el perro de esa pelicual de titulo pretencioso… quizas el romance de gonta con un ewok… no se… y el cableado es todo el sistema de control animatronico basado en redes neuronales… state of the art aun hoy en dia! y si algo le dio a Miguel… aun esta incubando… ojala no sea nada… menos en los pulmones….

  16. Peter P@n Says:

    Con todo respeto, no sé qué es lo bueno que tiene este post.

  17. Annie Says:

    Que carajos es eso ??? Me asuste!

  18. El Gosque Says:

    Uyyy, a mi perrita french poodle que tenía cuando chino mi papá le puso gury gury. Ya murió, de vieja, gury gury.

  19. Felipe Says:

    a mi se me parece un poco a pacheco no?

  20. lucas ramon Says:

    un post mas obvio no podia hacer?

  21. Federico de la Regueira Says:

    Lo bueno del post son los recuerdos de infancia que nos trae ese disfraz. Simple. no le busquen la quinta pata al gato. O es que cual niño no disfrutó de Guri Guri.
    Además el hecho de tener el disfraz en la mano es bacano, es como aterrizar una etapa de la vida.
    Es decir, lo bacano esta en el lector.

  22. Julián Ortega Martínez Says:

    (OFFTOPIC) Creo que ahora sí a Jaime Ruiz se le zafaron todos los tornillos.

  23. juglar del zipa Says:

    Julián:
    Hombre, por algo a Jaime lo lee Mancuso.

  24. Jack Atomic Says:

    Interesante…

    ]:)

  25. Jaime Ruiz Says:

    Ja ja ja ja. Eso de Mancuso sí que está divertido. Ya le estoy haciendo la competencia a Sándor Marai. Jajajaja. Muy recomendable la lista de lecturas.

    Lo que yo quiero es que haya una sola persona que me explique una cosita:

    ¿QUIERE O NO QUIERE EL PDI QUE SE PREMIEN LAS PROEZAS DE LAS FARC CON PODER POLÍTICO?

    La mención de Julián en su blog es la clase de propaganda que más me alegra encontrar. Lo de que me “macarticen” y me pongan al lado de Marai ya es el colmo, pero así es Colombia: uno se queja de que quemen gente viva (el único blog que se interesa por el tema, junto con el de Atrabilioso, los vulgares atropellos contra los soldados generaron decenas de comentarios más) y es la forma de que lo cuenten entre los criminales. Como ya expliqué en un post, el aplauso directo y franco a las masacres más horribles, por el contrario, genera prestigio y apoyo en el medio universitario y doctoril.

    Es fácil, lo he dicho cientos de veces: sólo se trata del servicio doméstico armado que asegura rentas, autoridad, futuro político y poder al gremio profesoral y a los literatos gremialistas. Para eso morirán cientos de inocentes en los próximos meses mientras sus asesinos se llenan de secreto orgullo: ya los consideran intelectuales.

  26. juglar del zipa Says:

    Jaime:
    1. ¿Ya vio a Guri-Guri? ¿No le parece lindo? ¿O curioso? ¿Sucio? No sé… Este post es un homenaje a ese monstruo de la TV, al muñeco que nos hizo soñar. ¿Tiene algo que decir?
    2. No se sienta macartizado. Entienda que su actitud nos asusta porque se está volviendo cada vez más retórico, porque en sus palabras sentimos que nos señala como algo que creemos no ser y no sabemos si somos porque no entendemos sus argumentos. O no tiene ya.
    3. El PDA no es las FARC. Una parte del PDA se relaciona con las FARC por razones históricas. Se relaciona pero no están total o parcialmente de acuerdo. Eso lo sé yo y seguramente muchos de los que vamos a votar por el PDA.
    4. Tanto que dice de la academia y los profesores y los que hemos estudiado y los que somos hijos de profesores o hijos de quienes han sido o son “de izquierda” de una u otra manera ya me resulta incomprensible, hasta caprichoso. Por eso digo que usted es un incomprendido, un controvertido. Otros que no quieran darse el beneficio de la duda preferirán llamarlo loco. Un día usted tiene que hacer el plano de este complot señalando quiénes cómo y cuándo han sido por siempre cómplices de los deplorables y detestables actos de terror de todos los ejércitos de este país porque su retórica se está pasando de retórica.
    5. Que algo suyo esté en la página de Mancuso me asusta porque Mancuso es quien es y porque mi página está enlazada en la suya… y pues no es gente muy tolerante, según dicen. También queman gente y esas cosas que a usted lo indignan.

  27. Jaime Ruiz Says:

    Juglar: en la página de Mancuso también hay artículos de Marta Senn y Alfredo Molano. Por no hablar de infinidad de personas de todo tipo, prácticamente todas sin ninguna relación con las AUC (no hablo de las que no conozco).

    Yo sólo digo: nadie está forzado a salir a matar gente, ¿cómo es que no les piden que dejen de hacerlo y salgan impunes y ricos? ¿O he entendido yo algo mal y el PDA sí pide a las FARC que dejen de matar y se acojan a la ley de justicia y paz o a una que permita menos impunidad?

    Bueno, eso ya lo había preguntado antes, y la respuesta siempre es la misma: el Estado debe complacer a las FARC para que se desmovilicen. ¿Qué pasa? ¿Qué clase de ofuscación hace falta para pedir a unos asesinos que dejen de hacerlo?

    Si hay mucha gente que tiene dudas al respecto yo sólo lo atribuyo a la forma de ser colombiana, siempre dependiente de lealtades personales. Si uno es o parece loco por decir eso, pues hay que hundirse en esa locura, porque para cualquier persona sensata es todo obvio y claro.

    ¿Por qué no les piden que dejen de matar?

    ¿Cuántas veces hay que decir eso?

    Lo del enlace lo hago rapidísimo, lo malo es que blogger no funciona ahora.

  28. Sentido Común Says:

    Uribe se sulfuraba y pataleaba cuando mencionaban su relación con las AUC, pero hace poco terminó aceptando que le había recibido dinero a La Gata. Aunque increíblemente no pasó nada con aquello, es una demostración de que cuando el río suena…Mancuso lee a Ruiz.

  29. juglar del zipa Says:

    Jaime:
    Relájese un rato, vea a Guri-Guri y no se tome ni nos tome tan en serio. Y no me quite el honor de estar entre sus vínculos. En serio.

  30. Dauchoma Says:

    Jaime Ruiz:

    Ud. es un gran retórico. No enrede. Nadie le está diciendo loco por afirmar que la forma de asociación predominante en Colombia es el clientelismo. Personalmente, estoy de acuerdo con eso.

    Lo que es irracional y dañino es afirmar que todo aquél que no esté de acuerdo con el gobierno es cómplice de asesinato. Esto lo argumenta con una interpretación simplista de la historia de Colombia, vista como un complot narco-bolchevique del que todos los funcionarios públicos y los sectores de izquierda -y seguramente todas sus familias- son partícipes. Esto es muy buen alimento para mentes emotivas pero no se compadece con la complejidad de los hechos.
    La pobreza, la violencia y la demencia las comparten los grupos que están enfrentados. Obedecen a condiciones que los preceden y no nacen espontáneamente de la maldad de unos personajes o de un espíritu que ha poseído a un grupo de gente mala a lo largo de la historia.

    Supongo que si no le está haciendo los discursos a algún político, lo hará pronto. Lo van a solicitar mucho cuando estalle la guerra en las ciudades.

  31. Sergio Méndez Says:

    Bah..Jaime Ruiz tampoco es un gran retórico, tampoco. Simplemente es un imbecil sin coherencia con algún resentimiento profundo contra los profesores universitarios, que medio sabe escribir y trama con eso a los mas incautos. Igual la retórica no es, ni mucho menos, el sustituto para un argumento de verdad (cosa que Ruiz no ha hecho una sola vez en su vida por lo visto).

  32. Jaime Ruiz Says:

    Perdón por seguir con esto, los invito a comentar en mi blog. Dauchoma: yo sólo digo que el que quiere que se premien las masacres quiere las masacres, nada relacionado con que se esté a favor o en contra de Uribe. ¿No le parece grotesca la mentira? ¿Quiere usted que se premien las masacres? ¿Quiere que cesen o que sigan?

    No pierda tiempo haciendo el ridículo, diga que me financia Mancuso porque cuando el río suena piedras lleva. Lo que sé que no va a hacer es contestarme acerca de si se deben premiar las masacres y si es justo que a unos criminales se les dé poder político porque masacran gente.

    (Creo que pocas cosas de este mundo me divertirían más que un esfuerzo del juglar sustentando lo que dice Sergio Méndez en su último comentario. Es que hay lealtades [y hablo de todos los de izquierda] que importan más que la verdad, el sentido común y hasta la vida de unos calentanos que no han tenido las oportunidades que ha tenido uno. Bueno, puestos ya a ultrajar, también lo de que el río suena piedras lleva es una cosa que se otorga callando. Otro argumento para refutar mi aserto de que el que quiere que se premien las masacres quiere las masacres. Tal es el respeto de algunos por sí mismos.)

  33. juglar del zipa Says:

    Jaime:
    Como ya le he dicho, no creo que usted sea un imbécil y por eso no voy a sustentarlo. De hecho, personalmente ya le llamé la atención a Sergio por haberlo llamado así aquí. Lamento, entonces, que por ahora no podrá divertirse.

    En cambio espero que sustente lo que usted dice. Es algo que, además de ser más relevante que el tema de si usted es o no es imbécil, aún no ha argumentado porque “el que quiere que se premien las masacres quiere las masacres” no es ningún argumento.

  34. Jaime Ruiz Says:

    Juglar: en fin: la frase no será un argumento pero sí es un eslogan apropiado para mi blog. ¡Y con lo que me gustaba la frase de Connolly!

    Pienso escribir un post sobre eso de Mancuso, es lo obvio. Por desgracia si uno rehúye semejantes temas sólo alienta a los rumoristas y a los polemistas que no tienen paciencia con los textos.

  35. juglar del zipa Says:

    Jaime:
    Bueno, usted lo ha dicho. Es decir, usted ACABA DE decirlo.

    Yo también iba a escribir un post sobre eso pero me dio miedo.

  36. Dauchoroma Says:

    Jaime.

    ¿por qué no habría de responderle? No veo en qué estoy haciendo el ridículo. Ud por el contrario nos está reconociendo que no tiene argumentos sino buenos eslóganes.

    (precisamente por esa gran habilidad, le auguro que si sabe aprovechar las oportunidades, usted tendrá una gran carrera como propagandista en la guerra civil que se le viene encima al país -aunque creo que todavía nos las ha aprovechado)

    En cuanto a su pregunta, me gustaría que cesaran las masacres (aunque creo que van a seguir y peor) y no quiero que premien a sus autores. Sin embargo, creo que reconocer los aspectos políticos del conflicto no excluye la aplicación de las leyes penales y que es el único instrumento para solucionar el problema estructuralmente. Tal vez ud no esté de acuerdo pero esa es mi interpretación.
    PD: me gusta mucho su blog de gazapos.

  37. hoffen Says:

    Que chistoso, ya no me acordaba como era el guri guri, de donde lo sacaste? la verdad es que es más feo de lo que recordaba.

    un abrazo, perdido.

  38. La Columna Says:

    […] ‘Motosierra ideológica’ La desafortunada entrada de Jaime Ruiz publicada la semana pasada ha desatado una fuerte controversia al interior de la blogosfera colombiana (James incluso me da el crédito, me llama "optimista de buen corazón" y todo). Aunque se merece que le den duro por extremista, tampoco es para que me lo insulten tan feo, ala. (Más acá, acá y en blogscolombia.com). Pilas, James, eso ni el doctor Barbarie, quien escribe sus odas fachas en clave humorística. […]

  39. juglar del zipa » Archivo del weblog » Estúpido, absurdo, vergonzoso, indignante Says:

    […] Si digo que me importa un culo podría arriesgarme a que me tilden de algo. Pero me importa un culo que hayan matado a la hermana de (César) Gaviria de la misma manera que me importa un culo que hayan matado al ex alcalde de Aguachica Cesar, al gerente de Telecom en Arauca o que se haya matado alguien por un alud —los otros muertos que decoran la página de El Tiempo—. En ese sentido soy igual de colombiano que todos y me importan un culo los demás. […]

  40. DiarioNocturno.com » El triste destino del Guriguri Says:

    […] Vía El Juglar del Zipa […]

  41. Nohra Says:

    la verdad yo estaba muy pequeña cuando veia calamar, pero recuerdo a guri guri como si fuera ayer. recuerdo que mi madre no podia verla porque tenia que trabajar (era maestra) y con mi hermana poniamos una grabadora al lado del parlante para que la escuchara cuando llegara de trabajar. no se si todavia exisitiran. ahora mismo estoy viendo calamar en un video de Juglardelzipa: gracias por las propagandas que has subido, no sabes la sensacion que da de volver a ver actores y actrices de la epoca, asi como escuchar las canciones de las propagandas que uno cantaba y se sabia de memoria hasta el mas minimo detalle. gracias por este regalo, es como volver a ser niño.

  42. catalina Says:

    ayy, no puedo creer que todavia exista!!! al final lo subastaron?? quien es el afortunado ganador???

  43. Juliana Says:

    Que lindos recuerdos!! Lástima lo maltratado que esta el traje. Lo subastaron? quien lo compro?

  44. juglar del zipa Says:

    juliana:
    creo al final no lo subastaron porque no encontraron público objetivo. claro que cualquiera tiene muchos lindos recuerdos, pero nadie podría pagar de 5 millones en adelante por algo semejante. “eso solo sirve en américa”

  45. Mabel Says:

    Buena, buena, buena página.
    Salud!

  46. MARYO Says:

    HAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!! se me chocolatearon los ojos……. ese era mi amor platonico de niña q recuerdos aquellos moriria por ver esa novela nuevamente

  47. Fred Says:

    Vaya!!! Increible!!!
    Tengo un par de preguntas al respecto: Es ese el traje original de la telenovela Calamar? y como pasó por sus manos tal joya de la TV colombiana?
    Pudo comprobar cual era el fin de los artefactos internos que contiene el traje??
    Excelentes fotos. El traje está algo deteriorado pero los recuerdos aún están frescos!! jeje

  48. juglar del zipa Says:

    fred:
    sí, es el traje original. estaba en la bodega de conexión colombia, donde trabajaba entonces. los artefactos del interior, evidentemente, servían para mover los ojos del animal ese.
    no se imagina, por ejemplo, cómo huele eso. y está tan sucio… ciertamente ese objeto no debería estar guardado sino en un museo. es que si fuéramos como los gringos…

  49. fERNANDO Says:

    POR DIOS!! QUE TRISTEZA, DE VERDAD EL GURI GURI NO DEBERIA ESTAR ASI SINO EN UN MUSEO, O EN ALGUN LUGAR DONDE LO TUVIERAN EN BUEN ESTADO O EN MANOS DE ALGUN FAN QUE PUDIERA HASTA RECOMPONER EL SISTEMA ANIMATRONICO, SE IMAGINA? SERIA LA LOCURA Y NO CREO QUE SEA TAN COMPLICADO… POR QUE ESTA EN UNA BODEGA? QUE ES CONEXION COLOMBIA? YO QUIERO ESE DISFRAZ!

  50. Die_Grausamkeit Says:

    Buscando un video en you tube, por culpa de @popcultura, llegué a este post y quería saber ¿Al fin quién se quedó con guri guri en la subasta? ¿Hubo tal subasta? Si no, propongo todo un operativo de secuestro para recuperarlo. O, mínimo, un grupo en facebook a ver si funciona…

  51. Die_Grausamkeit Says:

    P.D Yo tengo un hijo ilegitimo de guri guri http://twitpic.com/tnphv pero quiero al padre.

  52. Telémaco Says:

    No puedo creer que se haya convertido gran parte de este espacio de opinión, en otro campo de batalla política, eso que tanto desune. U_U En fin…

    Guri Guri… ay cómo pasa el tiempo. Recuerdo que mis hermanas tenían camiseticas esqueleto con Guri Guri estampado en ellas, y yo tuve uno o dos muñecos de plástico del monstrico ese.

    Me hubiera gustado pagar el dinero pa’ llevarmelo, pagarle algún tipo de restauración, y donarlo a una exposición o un museo que hubo o se montó recientemente en Bogotá (no esoty muy claro al respecto), ¿cómo fue que se llamó? “Colombia, un país de telenovelas” o algo así.

  53. david Says:

    que bueno ver a guri guri, ahora solo me resta encontrar el vademecun de carlos muñoz y la banda para el pelo de generoso el guajiro, gracias por este post, definitivamente que buena fue mi niñez

  54. José Gutiérrez Says:

    El Alf colombiano,

  55. Antonio Says:

    SALUDOS JUGLAR. CUENTAME, ¿YA SE VENDIO ESTA JOYA DE NUESTRAS EPOCAS PASADAS? CREEME QUE EN CUANTO VI LAS FOTOS SENTI QUE VIAJE EN EL TIEMPO. ME SENTI NIÑO OTRA VEZ, LO CUAL ME LLENO DE ALEGRIA. CUENTAME QUE SABES. ESTOY ATENTO. SALUDOS DESDE PALMIRA VALLE!

  56. juglar del zipa Says:

    Antonio:

    Ni idea. No sé si efectivamente esa subasta tuvo lugar o si al final crearon el famoso museo. Creo que ninguna de las dos cosas pasó.

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